Friday, October 24, 2014

Burnt Out

This summer, 'Listen to Your Mother' stage show came to Orange County. I fully intended on going; I knew it would be right up my alley. I was even toying with the idea of auditioning, even though I'm petrified of public speaking. Sadly, I missed the show altogether.

Recently, when I was searching to see if Listen to Your Mother was coming back, I stumbled on some recap videos. I especially loved this one of a pediatrician turned stay at home mom. Everything she says is so spot on for me! I am so burnt out and seriously considering choosing mothering full time over working. It's becoming too difficult, with minimal reward for my tremendous effort.

Enjoy the performance and HAPPY FRIDAY!!!


Friday, October 17, 2014

Family Music: Walter Martin's Hey Sister

Our family LOVES this new song by Walter Martin, "Hey Sister". It's so sweet (and catchy)!!! We heard it first on Sirius XM Kids Place Live. We looked for it on YouTube and only found this personal tribute, which is so endearing.

It reminds me that childhood (and sibling rivalry) only lasts a brief time. To enjoy and savor those precious and chaotic moments.

I hope you and your family like it as much as we do!

Walter Martin's 'We're All Young Together' album on Amazon.


Thursday, October 9, 2014

I'm the Bitch in the House

"The Bitch in the House"
Amazon Affiliate
"Overwhelmed: Work, Love and Play
When No One Has the Time" by Brigid Schulte
Amazon Affiliate
Here are the two books I have checked out from the public library right now; no joke. "The Bitch in the House: 26 Women Tell the Truth about Sex, Solitude, Work, Motherhood and Marriage" and "Overwhelmed: Work, Love and Play When No One Has the Time" by Brigid Schulte. Such great books!  

Can you guess what my state of mind is? I'm so stressed, anxious, frazzled... I'm too tired to delve into details, but you'll be thankful for that. It is the same story: too much to do, not enough time, feeling like I'm not doing enough, bad mom, bad worker, bad wife...

But now with my new job, my overwhelmed feelings are more extreme. It's not logical; it's full on reactionary and gut level emotions. My sister tries to 'talk me off the ledge' when I'm in my irrational outbursts, but it's ineffective. Yes, I should stop the negative loop, take deep breaths, meditate, think positive... I just don't feel I have the luxury of time for that.

Some minor things I've done to 'own' more of my time: put an hour lunch break on my work calendar each day of the week (even if I don't actually take it) and I've gone walking in the afternoons with a few coworkers. It's nice to get fresh air and stretch my legs.

I'm a month in at my new job. It's the end of the week. TGIF. I hope that next month I own it.

Tuesday, September 30, 2014

Guest Post: "Mommy Has to Go to Work" Poem

A friend of mine recently had her second daughter and has been enjoying her maternity leave with her two girls. She and I have talked at length about how hard it is to leave your babies to get back in the grind.

The night before she had to return to work from her maternity leave, she shared this poem she wrote with me.
Mommy Has To Go To Work

Tomorrow mommy has to return to work.
Tomorrow our daily routine will have to change.
You may be too young to understand that in order to secure your future,
Mommy has to work and provide for you.

I have enjoyed every second of you.
From waking up to you, to every meal,
To all our many adventures throughout the day.
From play time, to reading time, to movie and cartoon time,
To bath then bed time and everything in between.

Those special moments are what will help me make it through my day.
I will carry your laughter and giggles in my heart.
I will close my eyes and imagine your scent, warmth and cuddles.
I will miss you so much, the pain is simply indescribable.
I will even miss the times you fought me,
As well as your fussiness and temperament.

I hope your sitter gets you the way I do.
I hope she learns your likes and preferences.
I hope she imitates the healthy food I make you.
I hope she is patient and makes sense of what you want.
I pray she treats you with kindness and respect.
I pray she comforts and reassures you the way you like.

I hope she constantly teaches you new things.
I hope she is attentive and affectionate.
I hope she is fun and makes you laugh as I do,
With all the silly things I do.
You deserve the best this world has to offer.
And because of this mommy needs to go to work.
The end of maternity leave is the saddest day ever.

Saturday, August 9, 2014

The Allusive Work Life Balance



I can't even bring myself to write in full sentences. I've had a writer's block for months. At this current moment, we're at the end of a Saturday. I'm feeling so anxious and overwhelmed; I mainly experience this way on Sundays. The sensation that there is too much to do, not enough time or energy, that things are slipping through the cracks.

In addition to the normal stress of work, home, leisure and the upcoming back to school extravaganza, I've been interviewing for a new job. For the past month. My nerves can hardly stand the suspense and unknown. I'm torn between what is comfortable and known and what is new, scary and potentially extra workload. I don't want a more difficult work life balance. I don't know if I can handle an even heavier load.

I enjoy being a working mom to a certain extent, but I don't necessarily want to be totally entrenched in my profession at the expense of stretching myself even thinner. Will I ever have balance and well being? At my current job I am able to be available to the children and their special events, doctors appointments and their sick days. I get a plentiful amount of vacation, personal days and work at home options. I don't want to sacrifice that.

Is an increase of pay worth it? I almost think not. But then again, the reality is that my finances are tight and I could use the extra money. I am pursuing the opportunity and seeing where it takes me. I may not even get an offer. And if I do, I don't have to take it. In fact, maybe I could become a non-working mom for good measure! Quit working altogether! Yeah, probably not a wise move.

What does a good work life balance look like to you? I need a pep talk.

P.S. In other happy news, it seems as though my l'il Chicken Hawk (3.8 years old) is officially potty trained! Underwear 24/7 - yay!