Tuesday, June 29, 2010

Unexpected Dinner Guest

Great. I just found out that hubbie's ex step sis is in town and is coming for dinner. No warning or advanced notice.

We have no food and the house is a mess (not an exaggeration) and we just came back from an exhausting trip. I never like to 'entertain' anyway and I really don't want to tonight.

Dirty dishes on counter
This chick also told me she knew I was pregnant before I even took a test at 5 weeks. Yah right! She said she's psychic. uh huh. So when I told her my news a month later she didn't even act surprised; she said she knew it! Spare me. I find it hard to tolerate her know-it-all attitude especially since we are the same age and she acts like she's my elder. She even moves furniture around to show which direction looks better.

My coping skill for this evening will be to come home late, busy myself with laundry and tasks and then declare how fatigued I am - pull the pregnancy card. It's a fricking week night for God's sake.


My Neglected Child

My blog is my neglected child. It takes last priority after watering the plants, mopping the floors and other chores. I love to blog, I love to read others' blogs, I love the idea of maintaining a blog, yet I just can't seem to follow through.

I think of things all day long that I'd like to blog about, vent, share, piss, moan and bitch. Then I have to do my other boring responsibilities that detract from my creativity and keep me up too late at night and then I go to bed and repeat again the next day.  I'm always exhausted!  It doesn't help that I've been in my first trimester of pregnancy and trying to just make it through each day.

Pregnant young woman with paperwork, portrait
(This was me today except I was working on Chickadee A's birthday party invites.)

I'm sick of working at my job.  If I didn't have that, I would have unlimited time for my creative and fun pursuits.  Who invented work anyway?  It's lame.  Mr. Bossman is lame.  I can't see myself working there for the long term.  I am restless for change and 'normalcy' in a job.  I'm envious of those people who blindly follow their leaders and unquestioningly go to work each day without complaint.  What bliss!  

I should be thankful for having a job, flexibility, benefits, nice office, great view, relatively peaceful work environment, fair compensation, etc.  I should be proud of my hard work that has gotten me to where I'm at today.  But really I just feel lazy and bitter and annoyed.  I think I really must perpetually take things and people for granted.  Or am always thinking how things can be better.  How wonderful it would be to be content in the moment.  

But really, if it wasn't for being pregnant and needing the benefits and security, I would have worked at finding another job by now.  Now I am stuck until at least December if I want the benefits, then I need to decide what to do.  Quit and stay at home with 3 kids, go back to work almost full time or switch jobs? I've switched jobs on maternity leave twice before and that's pretty rough.  So it's either quit and take a work hiatus or go back to work and half ass it until I am ready to quit or job hop.  Decisions, decisions.  

Regardless, I am going to make a solid attempt to be more consistent about blogging.  I have lots to vent about these days.