Wednesday, August 4, 2010

Got the Urge to Split

I am growing increasingly and uncontrollably fed up with work and honestly don't think I can go there anymore.  I don't think it's just my hormones talking.  It is simply ridiculous!  Micro Manager is intolerable and I don't even know where to start describing him.  How about bullet points?
Businessman at Desk

  • Extremely vague in expectations.
  • Condescending
  • Sarcastic
  • Impatient
  • Moody
  • Outdated in his marketing knowledge.
  • Unwilling to read up on current trends.
  • Unwilling to read email attachments.
  • Unwilling to review projects turned in.
  • Overly concerned with how the water fountains operate in the reception area.
  • Obsessed with ridiculous art to display in the office.
  • Hired a Feng Shui consultant - 'nuff said.
  • Retarded ring tone that goes off constantly. Heard of vibrate mode?
  • Shoes tap like Lord of the Dance when he walks
  • Buys corporate mugs the whole office is supposed to use from China that have Prop 65 warnings all over them. 'This item contains chemicals known by the state of California to cause birth defects or other reproductive harm.'  
  • Big talker/under performer.
  • Grunts without looking up when you say good morning.
  • Stands in the doorway of my office with a smirk saying "What are you looking at that is so interesting?!" if I don't give him my complete attention.
  • Has warped perceptions of what can feasibly be accomplished with social media using ONE WAY COMMUNICATION - no engaging whatsoever.  
  • Expects 1000s of followers immediately.
  • Completely bizarre business model that I don't understand, nor does he want me to understand.
  • I suspect he is one of those cult-like 'Laws of Attraction' people.
  • All about 'What can everyone do for me?' No interest whatsoever in anyone else.
  • Resembles a sewer rat.
  • To be continued........
He sent me about 3 emails today full of confrontation and irritation.  He is obsessed with the #s from a promotion we're running that isn't doing well at all. Blaming me because no one is interested in giving their personal information for a measly freebie?   Quotes from his latest email:
I am trying to be clear that building our social networks is your primary focus right now, through PR/social media tactics.  I'd like to see 25 - 50% weekly increases, which I think comes from having some great content, we distribute and is then virally expanded.

And when you are not doing this, the Employee Handbook... have you started this?
Can I see an outline and have you tell me how you are approaching this?
Weekly increase of what?! Page views? Fans? Followers? Re-tweets of posts?  Good luck with this goal, dude.  You can force this stuff - unless of course you want to use some spam-bot software.  I don't want my professional name attached to a shady dealing douche bag.

I just want to totally quit but I know I can't because of my pregnancy and benefits.  It would be best if I could just make it a few more months and go on maternity leave and then say "SEE YA!"  For a while I thought that it was the ideal job and I could totally see myself being there a long time.  Now I can't see going in another day.  I don't see how I can make it through!

Already I don't say good morning or goodbye to him.  I try to avoid him at all costs and try to do everything through email.  When he asks to meet with me in person, I can't get out of his office fast enough.  I am formulating a plan... I am going to try to make it through the next few months of work using as many excuses as I can to work from home, maybe take a vacation or two, then as soon as I can get a doctor's note I am going to split!  Have the baby, enjoy maternity leave and never come back.  I'll look for a new job if need be in the spring.  During this time I can work on more of my writing goals.

HELP!!  What do I do to get out of this job without losing my benefits??!!  How can I better cope?!


  1. umm.. i recommend that maybe.. you grit your teeth and smile while looking for another job... and once you secure another job, then put in your two weeks and then split.

    use principles from a course in miracles:

    "you need do nothing."

    "you do not have to worry about what to do or say."

    "to have, give all to all"

    good luck. post updates :)

  2. Thanks for your advice Michael! I really enjoyed that book too. Funny how soon I forget all the great insight I gain from books. I really worked on my attitude and outlook today and it seemed to help a lot. I survived!