Tuesday, September 28, 2010

Oh Maternity Leave, How I Long for Thee

I'm on a count down for maternity leave!  TWO MORE MONTHS!!
Woman Using a Laptop on the Beach
Although I know it's not going to be a vacation by any means, I just can't wait to be free from having to show up to work.  I should feel fortunate to have the flexible job that I have and all the benefits and the low pressure environment.  However, I just detest it and resent it for some reason.

I can't ever make sense of what the company actually does and if it's even ethical, I never have any real or substantial projects to work on, my boss doesn't manage well and then he is abrasive and condescending towards me.  I have a position title that I am more than qualified for, with the education and experience to back it up, but I'm definitely underutilized.  Or not utilized at all. I feel that they just want me in the position as a figure head in a way, but not to really work on anything.  But then again, I get emails from the boss filled with attitude demanding to see results from a piss-poor campaign we're working on. 

I do enjoy working in my chosen profession, and it's not as if I want to be a stay-at-home-mom, but I just can't stand him and coming to work every day.  I took the job because I was unemployed when I got the job offer and felt that I was obligated to take it, especially given all the flexibility and benefits.  I was going to give it a year and wait for the economy to turn around.  I didn't think I would get pregnant during that time! 

Now I feel completely stuck!  It's an EASY job for the paycheck, but do I really want it? Not really.  He totally treats me like I'm a slacker, but honestly, I don't have anything to really work on.  It's not a typical marketing department with a collaborative environment.  I just get thrown little tasks to work on here and there.  So I surf the net and get my personal stuff done at my desk in my down time....

So now that I have two months left to freedom, I am in dilemma thinking about my game plan.  Do I quit while I'm on leave and never come back?  I could either take a small break and then find another job, or focus on freelance projects at home.  Or do I come back after three months of maternity leave and continue to collect a paycheck for slacking off until I find another job?  (I will definitely have hospital bills that will need to be paid off.)  I could really, really slack off and take lots of personal time and have a lazy attitude, then hope to get laid off.  But I'm too ethical for that I think. 

What to do? What to do? 

Would I even be able to find a professional part time/flexible job again????  I know other moms who are lucky in that regard who actually LOVE their boss.  So it can't be totally impossible...

Either way, I am going to really enjoy going on maternity leave even though the newborn is going to keep me extra busy!  Maybe I can even keep up with blogging, writing and other hobbies better too.  Yeah, right!