Although I know it's not going to be a vacation by any means, I just can't wait to be free from having to show up to work. I should feel fortunate to have the flexible job that I have and all the benefits and the low pressure environment. However, I just detest it and resent it for some reason.
I can't ever make sense of what the company actually does and if it's even ethical, I never have any real or substantial projects to work on, my boss doesn't manage well and then he is abrasive and condescending towards me. I have a position title that I am more than qualified for, with the education and experience to back it up, but I'm definitely underutilized. Or not utilized at all. I feel that they just want me in the position as a figure head in a way, but not to really work on anything. But then again, I get emails from the boss filled with attitude demanding to see results from a piss-poor campaign we're working on.
I do enjoy working in my chosen profession, and it's not as if I want to be a stay-at-home-mom, but I just can't stand him and coming to work every day. I took the job because I was unemployed when I got the job offer and felt that I was obligated to take it, especially given all the flexibility and benefits. I was going to give it a year and wait for the economy to turn around. I didn't think I would get pregnant during that time!
Now I feel completely stuck! It's an EASY job for the paycheck, but do I really want it? Not really. He totally treats me like I'm a slacker, but honestly, I don't have anything to really work on. It's not a typical marketing department with a collaborative environment. I just get thrown little tasks to work on here and there. So I surf the net and get my personal stuff done at my desk in my down time....
So now that I have two months left to freedom, I am in dilemma thinking about my game plan. Do I quit while I'm on leave and never come back? I could either take a small break and then find another job, or focus on freelance projects at home. Or do I come back after three months of maternity leave and continue to collect a paycheck for slacking off until I find another job? (I will definitely have hospital bills that will need to be paid off.) I could really, really slack off and take lots of personal time and have a lazy attitude, then hope to get laid off. But I'm too ethical for that I think.
What to do? What to do?
Would I even be able to find a professional part time/flexible job again???? I know other moms who are lucky in that regard who actually LOVE their boss. So it can't be totally impossible...
Either way, I am going to really enjoy going on maternity leave even though the newborn is going to keep me extra busy! Maybe I can even keep up with blogging, writing and other hobbies better too. Yeah, right!
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