Wednesday, November 24, 2010

Exploring My Daycare Angst

To further explain my daycare angst, I have specific examples of what tends to annoy me.
  • The long drive and time to get there and back home again.
  • Inconsistency with potty training.
  • Lost items and ruining of clothing.
  • Having to bring in an overabundance of wipes constantly (more than you use at home).
  • Hearing negative reports on their behavior and trying to explain it.
  • Wondering what they eat and do each day.
  • Long days.
  • Bringing them home tired and cranky.
  • Raised rates.
  • Wondering if there is a better option.
Overall, I've always loved our daycare provider.  Perhaps I'm just moody and being petty.  Lately I just feel like I want to have more ownership and control over my chickadees' daily lives.

After next week I won't be using any childcare, which scares me a little, but I feel like I'll have more time to potty train the littlest chickadee and spend some quality time with both of them.  As well as save needed money on childcare costs.  Perhaps I'm being too idealistic.  I know it's not going to be easy to care for a newborn and give the others quality attention, but I like to believe I can.

As always, I'm looking for the perfect balance.  Perpetually dissatisfied.  I can't make up my mind what to do when/if I go back to work.  I guess I'll just take it day-by-day, week-by-week.  Originally I told our provider that we would bring the littlest chickadee to her house twice a week while I'm on leave, but the cost, time and driving one hour each way doesn't make sense.  I can do a very part time preschool for much cheaper in the interim and start daycare up again when I go back to work.  Or use that nanny that I know.  Decisions, decisions.

I love our provider dearly and so do the chickadees.  I just want to do what's best, but having a hard time making a solid decision and sticking by it.  I feel like I owe her my business.  Ever since I pulled out a few months ago, our friendship has been strained and I feel like I'm trying to get back in her good graces again.  I don't want to hurt her feelings or offend her by telling her I changed my mind.  I know I'm indecisive, so I could always change my mind again.  I guess it's best just to wait until the time comes to return to work.

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