Sunday, February 20, 2011

I'm Scaring Myself

Wasn't I just saying how much I hate working? Now I feel strange and vulnerable not having a job. I am itching to start updating my resume and searching the job sites. How odd.

I must remember that I am to enjoy my last baby's infancy and put my time and energy into the wee ones and the house as well as trying to develop some sort of a writing gig at home. I must forgo the steady paycheck and benefits and live dangerously doing what I feel will truly fulfill me.

I honestly don't think I do a very good job though of staying home. I am not a good SAHM (yet). But I guess if I'm a writer, I'm not really a SAHM, am I? I can't wait to start receiving unemployment benefits; then I won't feel so unsettled probably. But then again, trying to care for 3 children by myself during the week unsettles me too. I feel like I don't engage them in quality activities enough. But then again, I refuse to over-schedule our days and run all over the place all day long. I also don't feel like spending any money on outings with them since saving seems so important.

Tomorrow is a new day. I want to at least make it to the gym and I want to write up my new client's bio for him. Yay hooray for me!

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