Thursday, April 14, 2011

My First Life Coaching Session

I know several life coaches - all women interestingly - and I have never been very interested in using one for myself. I always assumed they were all followers of "The Secret" and full of buzz words and hype. (Kind of like those Wal Mart managers who lead the chants and cheers before each shift.) Last week, however, I won an email promotion giving me a free hour session of life coaching.

It came at an ideal time too as I am floundering at the crossroads of the working mom and the dreaded 'just a mom' status - aka SAHM. I am not going to slam it though like I used to. I'm actually starting to see the merits of being a SAHM.

The life coach, an acquaintance I met volunteering at a teen girl function several years ago (2 kids ago,) was very pleasant, warm, and encouraging. Definitely not pushy, hyper or overbearing. She asked insightful questions and listened patiently as I tried piecing together my thoughts and words.

Even though she doesn't have children, she knew exactly what I was talking about when describing how hard it seems to get energized or be productive. The frustration and all-encompassing energy that comes with mothering. She encouraged me by saying that I am perfect just where I am and that I'm being too hard on myself. That I'm not just a mom and I have tremendous and worth outside of being a mother.

She said that she heard a lot of doubt and discouragement in my voice and choice of words. Yep - guilty as charged. She recommended that I do one thing for myself each day that feeds my creative spirit, even if just for a 5 minutes. (I think I do that, but it's never enough it seems.) She also suggests journaling and writing out exactly what I want and what it would look like. (It's hard to do that as I change my mind all the time as to what I want.) She feels that if I go out and walk by myself each day that creativity and ideas will flow more freely. (Which I agree, but pulling the trigger on all my ideas and aspirations is where I get stuck. Probably because I am nursing and changing diapers every 3 hours, not to mention the 2 chickadees that I'm also responsible for.)

I need to stop having a 'fear of lack and scarcity' as it is a self-fulfilled prophecy. Think I can't fail and I won't. (ha - easier said than done...) Set short term and long term goals. Give myself to December to develop my ideas about my ideal working or business scenario and then tackle it at the first of the year.(Manageable.)

What would my ideal weekday look like? My initial thoughts: have childcare for the first half of the day, work either in an office or at home on clients' projects or my own writing. A bit of outside time and exercise, lunch. Then the afternoon and evening with family. Evening time with hubby and reading, watching TV or movies. I would LOVE to get more involved with the organizations I like to volunteer for in the community that support teens and the environment. Also, my women mountain biking group and other outdoor activities that I love: kayaking, learn stand up paddling and/or surfing. Learn guitar more, learn Norwegian, camping more, Sea Doo-ing more, skiing more, etc.

I suppose those are long term goals or ongoing goals? All activities cost money and eventually unemployment will run out... I need to think of a way to make money that doesn't take away from being a mom who's engaged with each child's life. A pipe dream? I will choose to believe it's possible. I pretty much had it with my last job. The only problem was that my boss was an asshat douchebag. I thought I was pretty tolerant and resilient, but apparently not in this situation.

So I'm having flashbacks from a previous job I had when we had group coaching sessions where we learned about vision boards and vibrations and affirmations. It was valuable knowledge, but the company ended up tanking. So does that mean that the CEO wasn't doing enough affirmations? I do like the idea of creating a collage or vision board of my ideal life to inspire me.

What does work-life balance look like to you?

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