I'm so glad she did! I can relate with almost everything she said and have felt that inner struggle as a working mom. I hope you can relate and provide support for her too. Leave a nice comment for her if you are so inclined.
Guest Post: "Perpetually Perturbed"
Resentment and guilt, it looms in every feeling, thought, and decision I make daily. I guess this is what comes with being a working mom and wife. No person or thing is immune to being a target of my resentment, not even myself. Here is a little laundry list of my resentment targets, hopefully by getting them out there others will know they are not alone:
- Myself. I always promised myself I would never be a working mom. I resented my mom for working, not being a room mother, not dropping me off at school, in my eyes she simply didn't seem to care like the other moms who were there for their kids.
- My husband. I will admit it, one of the attractive things about my husband was the promise of his high powered career. The fact that some day he would make partner and I would get to be there for our future family and home. Instead we still need my income and in order for me to handle my career I need more help from him and he has taken a lighter lower paying job to allow for that. It is frustrating. You try to not want what others have, but sometimes it is just so hard to tame the thoughts.
- My job. I feel like they talk the talk, but they don't walk the walk. Work life balance, it is like the thing companies like to say but rarely do. Here is a great example, many nights I come home, see my kids for an hour or two (if I am lucky) and then I do more work before bed. I even worked a weekend day recently and when I asked to have another day off they told me to fill out a vacation form. How do you expect people with stay at home wives, housekeepers, and nannies to really understand and respect what work life balance means. I certainly don't as I live it everyday.
Does being a working mom really mean not being good at any one thing? Just being mediocre and getting by? That is how I feel now, there is no time, and I am just trying to keep my head above water. Being any kind of mom is difficult, but the daily battle of resentment and guilt that comes with being a working mom is much more difficult than I could have ever imagined.
All this said, I wouldn't trade a thing for my kids. At the end of my day which often gets dark, they are my light; when I see their smiles, I melt. I see both my husband and myself in them and it is amazing, it is us together. And they don't care that I look a wreck, have gotten fat or just put my hair in a pony tail. They are awesome.
All this said, I wouldn't trade a thing for my kids. At the end of my day which often gets dark, they are my light; when I see their smiles, I melt. I see both my husband and myself in them and it is amazing, it is us together. And they don't care that I look a wreck, have gotten fat or just put my hair in a pony tail. They are awesome.
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