Thursday, February 28, 2013

Take This Job and Shove It

The past few weeks I've felt so completely exhausted and depleted (flu and over-extended), that I obsessively envisioned wild scenarios of quitting my job and moving to a remote mountain village. Everyone I work and live with appeared to me as the enemy and I couldn't stand to be around anyone. I could barely even stand myself!

Sometimes the attempt at work-life balance completely fails and it pushes you to your limits. My friend and I were both lamenting about the same thing - wanting to quit the rat race and just take care of our kids and houses. I'm not discarding the thought, but I'm not going to up and quit spontaneously as I was fantasizing about. Instead I took a day off from work, didn't check email the entire day, worked out for an hour and a half, washed my car, met a friend for lunch and went shopping; it was a great day off indeed!

There are so many things I could complain about, but I'm tired and need to retire (to bed; I'll never get to really retire.) I'll save my petty complaints for Twitter during the work day. But I will say that I wish I could find legitimate part time, work at home employment in my profession that pays well. I want more time with my wee ones. I don't know why it should be so hard to find.

Saturday, February 23, 2013

Fun Fashion at DownEast Basics

It was such a crazy, exhausting week. The one highlight of my week, honestly, was attending a DownEast Basics blogger event at the Irvine Spectrum. Mingling with other Orange County bloggers and checking out the cute styles - it was a great way to spend an evening.

I'm super happy with the 'poison green' wonder tee I purchased! It's so slimming with thick, durable, stretchy fabric which disguises the muffin top area nicely. It's very flattering. They come in tons of different colors and cost only $10, so I'm definitely going back for more.

Poison Green Wonder Tee
I also bought a cute vest, but I'm not sure yet how I'm going to wear it yet. It think it will look best with jeans; with what kind of shirt though? How do you think it would be worn best?
Spectacle Vest
DownEast Basics is having a big spring sale, so everything on sale is another 30% off, which is awesome! I went to the little girls' clearance rack and bought my chickadees each an outfit for several dollars each. They have such adorable and spunky girls clothes! My 7 year old wore her outfit the very next day and was glowing about it. (I wish I had taken a picture of her!) It was this cute tunic with brown 'equestrian leggings' (they look like horseback riding pants).

I'm not a big fashionista and I don't like to hardcore shop like some chicks, but I do love to have a unique and fun style and to get a good deal. DownEast Basics definitely fits my style and affordability criteria and you can tell the clothes are of good quality too; they're not going to fall apart the first time you wash them.

Right now they are having a cool promotion on Pinterest - check it out! You could win a $500 spring break shopping spree at DownEast Basics!

DownEast Basics Social Links:
Twitter: @DownEastBasics

Sunday, February 10, 2013

Self-Loathing Sunday

While sitting in church this morning, before I was infused with inspiration and peace, I was dwelling on negative thoughts about myself. Old Debbie Downer/Negative Nellie reared her ugly head. Which led me to ponder creating a new Sunday blog series featuring my own self-loathing. Not to necessarily wallow in it, but to spew it out for the purpose of releasing it and its power over me.

Here are some of the bitter thoughts I feel about myself (when I'm having a pity party); I am:
  • Worthless
  • Pointless
  • Irrelevant 
  • Friendless
  • Alone
  • Unlovable
  • Boring
  • Uninteresting
  • Unconnected (in real life, not virtually), therefore doomed to failure
  • Doomed to remain poor
  • Doomed to remain insignificant 
  • Spinning my entrepreneurial wheels with pointless ideas and going nowhere
  • Wasting time with nonsense
  • Disconnected from God and spirituality
  • Disconnected from my husband
  • Homely looking
  • Aging
  • Gullible
  • Hopeless romantic (about believing all things are possible; not so)
  • Never going to amount to anything
  • Judgmental
  • Harsh
  • Mean
  • Tough
  • Doomed to repeat my family dysfunction
  • Uncreative
  • Unoriginal
  • A farce
  • A fraud
  • Delusional about my coolness
  • Out of style
  • I don't fit in here in Orange County; do I fit in anywhere?
  • Will I ever meet cool peeps here? (Silly question; I know lots of cool peeps here.)
  • Church is stupid and pointless and the pastor is a conman 
  • Technology and social media is stupid and pointless and a waste of time

Once I'm in this mindset, it gets very hard to break free of the negative loop in my mind. It is paralyzing. But as always, church was just what I needed to remind me of the immense value I have to God (and my family and those few that do love me.)

Although my mind wandered throughout the service, there were some powerful verses in the message that spoke to me. Here are some:
“We know that God causes everything to work together for the good
of those who love God and are called according to his purpose
for them. For God knew his people in advance, and he chose
them to become like his son, so that his Son would be the
firstborn, with many brothers and sisters.”   Rom. 8:28-29 (NLT)
“Let us strip off anything that slows us down or holds us back, and
especially those sins that wrap themselves so tightly around our
feet and trip us up; and let us run with patience the particular race that God has set before us.”   Heb. 12:1 (LB)
“After you suffer for a short time, God, who gives all grace, will
make everything right. He will make you strong and support you
and keep you from falling. He called you to share in his glory in
Christ, a glory that will continue forever.”   1 Peter 5:10 (NCV)

“I don't mean to say that I have already achieved these things or
that I have already reached perfection! But I keep working toward
that day when I will finally be all that Christ Jesus saved me for and
wants me to be... I am still not all I should be, but I am focusing all
my energies on this one thing: Forgetting the past and looking
forward to what lies ahead, I strain to reach the end of the race and
receive the prize for which God, through Christ Jesus, is calling
us up to heaven.” Phil. 3:12-14 (NLT) 
“Lift up your tired hands, then, and strengthen your trembling
knees! Keep walking on straight paths, so that your lame foot may
not be disabled, but instead be healed.”  Heb. 12:12-13 (TEV) 
- Courtesy of Saddleback Church 
Our pastor has a compelling way with words and he often has inspirational anecdotes and guest speakers. Today he had a young girl with cerebral palsy on stage to speak about overcoming her disability, while planning to run a 5k with her friends. She has to continue to force herself to get back up again each time she falls down; much like all of us need to do when life trips us. Her speech did make all my internal complaining seem very petty after all.

Any SNL fans out there? Here is my Daily Affirmation by Stuart Smalley: "I'm good enough, I'm smart enough, and doggone it, people like me." I will continue to try to turn my frown upside down. Any more cliches I can add here?

Saturday, February 9, 2013

Being a Working Mom is Unhealthy

Here it is, Saturday morning 8:30. I should be leaving for the gym; I'm dressed for it. But when considering the drive (20 minutes each way), the kid corralling, required shower at home after and an 11:00 musical we're attending, it doesn't seem feasible. This is why weeks go by without substantial exercise and my 'office butt' will continue to expand.

Perhaps I will do a stupid workout video with regular interruptions from children. Or just walk the dog at a snails pace. I don't know how I'm going to be able to do the Gladiator Rock 'n Run race in a few months; I'll never have the stamina or strength! Being a working mom is physically unhealthy I've concluded.

UPDATE: I ended up putting the not-so-l'il chicken hawk in the Kelty backpack carrier and briskly walking around the neighborhood and doing step-ups on the sidewalk curb. Then instead of the concert, I did some chores. Maybe I'll go to the gym another day...