Thursday, June 6, 2013

Mud Runs are Perfect for Girls Who Pee When They Run!

Two more days until Gladiator Rock 'n Run race at the Irvine Great Park and guess who's ready? NOT ME!!

I have not 'trained' in a traditional sense, so that makes me a little unsettled. I exercise in small doses sporadically but rarely get my heart rate up for a sustained period of time, so I'm sure to have a slap in the face with reality. Just tonight I went to walk the dog around the neighborhood, attempted a jog and only made it to the end of the street. Not only am I not very interested or good at jogging, I can't even stop myself from leaking urine!

I thought my stress incontinence would be improved by now, but unfortunately it's not, which is embarrassing and inconvenient in a race. I'm going to have to wear a Poise pad and try to focus on squeezing my pelvic floor in for the entire 6 kilometers (3.75 miles) not to mention the crazy obstacles.

How about an obstacle called 'Swimmin' in Pee'?
Check out this crazy course! The obstacles sound a little daunting - the Tube Steak, The Pit, The Beast, Trenches of Torment, Polar Bear Plunge, Dumpster Dive, Burn Rubber, Skid Marks, Cargo Congo Climb, Wall of Fame, Fools Spools, Mud Madness, Buddha's Burden, Terrible Tires, Gladiator BBQ Fire, Ring My Bell and the Turbine Twister. How about they create an obstacle called, 'Swimmin' in Pee'? I'll master that one!

I just want to wear a funky race costume, people watch, have some good laughs and drink a beer or two at the end. My friends and I are still brainstorming on costumes, but I suspect they are going for girly-girl cute and I always go for ridiculous.

I've been feeling a little discouraged and burnt out from the end of the kids' school year and juggling it all and I almost wanted to bail on doing the race. Now I'm thinking maybe it might just cheer me up and give me a boost of happiness. The main thing to remember is that it's just for fun for  athletes (or wanna-bes) of all (or no) abilities. I know I'm not a weakling when it comes to strength and agility so even though I'm not a hard core gladiator, I know I won't be a total failure. And when I pee my pants along the way, the mud will just camouflage it - perfect.

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