Friday, August 2, 2013

Tell Elle: New Working Mom Angst

A good friend of mine, who has worked with me in the past and saw me go through the changes of being a new mom, had her first baby this year. She went back to work full time a few months ago and I've asked her to write on her experience of being a new working mom. I've experienced it three times now myself - and the whole going back to work after maternity leave is never easy.

Here is her experience with emotional angst over with being a new working mom.
When asked how I feel about being a working mom, I cry a little on the inside. I wished I could strictly be a stay at home mom. I wished I didn't have to "make ends meet" and need my income to survive. I wished I could wake up and sleep with my baby and not miss a thing (Like the Aerosmith song ). 
Every day my baby is growing and doing new things, having new experiences, having new facial expressions, understanding and learning and expressing herself more than the day before. I miss her every second of the day. I am tearing up as I am writing this. I could just say, screw it all and just stay home, but the bills will pile up and she wouldn't have as many toys, or clothes or even a savings, so I do the responsible thing and work.
Sometimes I feel a slave to my mortgage and my debt. Sometimes I want to be a hippy and not care about late payments or keeping my house so tidy and nice, but in the end I know everything I do is for my baby. I want to give her the world and more.
At work I have to pump and my boss is semi-understanding. She did not breastfeed, so she doesn't understand why I do it. She has asked me a couple of times, "How long do you plan on breast feeding?" Which I think that it's not that she actually cares as much as wonders how long I will continue to take extended breaks. It's annoying, but I continue to smile, I continue to give my baby my best and convince myself every day that I am making the right choice. That she is in great hands with her grandmas and remind myself that I am working to provide her a better life.
I can totally relate with her sentiments. Even after being a mom for eight years now, and juggling three little ones, it hasn't gotten all that much easier. I still have days where I miss my kids terribly and second-guess my decision to be a working mom. But then again, I don't see any other feasible option. I like having my own (albeit small) income and the certain freedoms that come along with it (economic, psychological...) I want a stable economic future for me, my husband and each child.

If you'd like to share your working mom story, email me at Elle [AT] SeeMomWorkBlog [DOT] com. I'd love to hear from you!

Here's a small selection of light reading material for working moms.


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