Wednesday, January 1, 2014

First Day of 2014 and Needing Therapy

Happy New Year!

For the first day of the new year, I'm feeling discouraged at my mom skills, or lack thereof. Try as I might, I can't stop myself from losing my patience and yelling at the kids. Other gems that accompany my anger is sarcasm and mean words towards my children and husband.

I feel like I have Tourette's Syndrome sometimes. It gets worse as the day stretches on. It's probably because I've been off work and at home with them for two weeks and it's taken its toll. In addition, the house is constantly being trashed faster than I can keep up.

The kids' listening skills suck. They won't pick up after themselves. They fight nonstop. Their table manners are nonexistent. When I feel the chaos escalating, and my sense of control slipping, I start freaking out and lashing out. It's completely rude and mean of me. I tell them not bully each other, then I turn around and do the very thing I'm against.

It brings me to tears when they're finally tucked in and drifting off to sleep. I feel like I need help. My husband's participation doesn't count. Both of our combined efforts - with all hands on deck - have been futile. It's like waging a war at the dinner table and bedtime routine every night. We're outnumbered.

Here are some people I wish I could hire: tutor, organizational specialist, therapist (for me and my eldest daughter), cleaning lady and a parenting expert (to teach us how to handle the chaos). I'm actually working on the tutor now and I'm going to make it a priority to find me a therapist ASAP. I need to get a grip.

I am back to work tomorrow. Thank God it's going to be only a two day work week. But then the weekend will bring the same family drama and chaos again. We're having a garage sale this weekend. I'm daydreaming about selling most of their toys and books so we won't have to clean up as much.

Wish me luck at being a more 'perfect mom' in 2014!

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