Monday, March 24, 2014

Potty Accidents, Hershey Squirts and Skid Marks, OH MY!

I'm annoyed yet again with my childcare situation. Beware of the tangent to unfold below...

My l'il Chicken Hawk has been in his current preschool for one year now. I was looking forward to the expedient potty training they offered (for an additional fee) in hopes we would get out of diapers as soon as possible. Unfortunately, he has been three years old for three months now, and he's still not potty trained. In fact, he sometimes regresses a lot lately. Tuition has increased too so it's become a financial burden as well.

The teachers and administrators have been harping on us (me) to do more at home to motivate him to the toilet such as: negative feedback, scolding, taking things away that are 'babyish' or special to him, etc. They also wanted us to take him to the doctor to see if something was wrong with him since he is pooping so frequently and it's so loose/explosive. They always seem annoyed and exhausted when I pick up my son and when I ask how his day was. MONOTONE voices and LACKLUSTER expressions. Not very inspiring and encouraging for me.

Last week, the administrator cornered me to ask if we could have a joint meeting with Daddy O and I to discuss our potty training methods, etc. She launched into me again about all the terrible issues they were experiencing with him and how they really want to move him up to the next level. As it was 5:00 and I still had to pick up my other two children, and I didn't want to listen to another minute of her B.S., I told her something like, "I have three kids, we're rarely home, we have activities, dinner, homework and lots of other responsibilities..." Basically meaning that I don't have time to be responsible for my son's bowel movements, he will be ready when he's ready and I have other responsibilities to worry about.

Apparently she didn't like that. She huffed and puffed to my husband when they talked that I'm too busy to be consistent in potty training our son, after ALL the effort they put in all day at school. Like I do NOTHING towards that goal. Pah-lease! My husband gave her a note from the doctor stating that our son is neurologically fine and he will potty train when he's ready, that we will cut out the dairy and juice in his diet. That we DO work hard at home to potty train him and motivate him. My husband expressed that they need to be more encouraging when working with our son and his potty training efforts. He also told her that from now on, to talk to him only when they have an issue, because I'm busy, frazzled and not in the right mindset  to receive their messages well during my pick up rounds.

HA! In a way I'm glad he was the warrior in this situation. But in another way, I feel guilty, ashamed and embarrassed that they think I'm a shitty, selfish, working mom who doesn't care enough about my son to pause for a chat about his bowel issues in the evening. Am I projecting? I don't want to deal with them and that nonsense. I won't make potty training sticker charts, set timers, forceably take him to the toilet on the hour, every hour. Yes, I am trying to minimize my overall hassle factor. So I'm lazy? Kids need to take it upon themselves to control their bowels, just like they should be responsible for their own homework. I've already graduated from college and grad school, I've become toilet trained (sorta), so I've done my time. They can do theirs now!

So, needless to say, I'm seriously looking around at other daycare options again. I'm thinking an in-home center.

Wish me luck in the coming months! We've had so many potty accidents, Hershey squirts and skid marks these past few months, I'm at my wit's end!


  1. I taught pre-k for 12 years and younger ages before that and as you already know kids will potty train when they are ready. The negative consequences & feedback they suggest would have me running for the door AND filing a report with licensing agency in my states.

    1. Thank you so much for your comment and supportive words Robbie! That is what I was feeling, but not motivated to do yet. My husband threatened that to them though.