Sunday, March 3, 2019

Sunday Evening Pity Party

I am experiencing my typical end-of-the-weekend blues. But today seems more acute than usual. I'm feeling pressure in my head and can hear my heartbeat in my left ear. My mood is very sullen.

I was with my kids this weekend and we were together, which is always nice. Yet, our meaningful personal interactions seem minimal. It seems very 'transactional' and utilitarian. They need food or I need them to do a chore. However, I infused some fun activities into our weekend to break up the amount of time they're on electronics.

We took a walk in the rain, we went to kids' birthday parties, we ate a nice dinner together tonight. But another busy work and school week starts tomorrow and I'll be in hyper-motion again. I know I'm exhausted and I need a good night's sleep. But also I'm pissed at myself for letting another weekend go by without working on taxes. There is money the IRS has with my name on it, I just have to take the time to fill out some form fields. How lame am I?

I hope for a productive, happy week ahead. I hope I can continue eating healthy, exercising regularly and saving money. I hope that I can continue to laugh and find joy in little moments. I had such good laughs last week at work. This weekend I kept feeling lonely and isolated, even though I was around my kids and had social time around nice people.

Daddy-O got a new puppy for him and the kids. It's so adorable. We met it today for the first time. I'm happy for them, but so deeply sad for me. I miss having a pet; a little cuddly creature that gives you unconditional love. I don't want a pet right now because of tight finances, lack of time and already not being able to keep my home tidy. I don't want to scoop a litterbox or be strapped to a dog's bio needs and schedule. I want to save money, live simply and be able to travel occasionally. It's not feasible.

But the old me ... she had two cats, one big dog, three kids, a husband and a huge heart for people. Guess this new me is just a miser. Also, synonymous with LOSER.

I'm just venting. I am having a festive pity party for myself. So at the close of this paragraph, that will conclude my public display of patheticness and I will move on to nurturing myself and being a positive role model for the young people I care for.

Happy Sunday (soon-to-be Monday)!

1 comment:

  1. Yep, have the pity party and then move on, toward the light!

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