Sunday, August 11, 2019


I've had a good (almost) two years of full time employment at my latest gig. I had aspirations of staying there, growing in the position and living happily ever after. It's too bad I didn't see that come to fruition.

Despite my best efforts, my employer must have had unattainable aspirations of their own, as the initiatives they had been banking on, didn't cash out. For over six months, they've been struggling with cash flow, borrowing stealing money from employees' 401k contributions, not paying bills, getting our insurance benefits canceled due to lack of payment and more shenanigans. It's been so aggravating. Like a dysfunctional relationship where you tell yourself it's not that bad, I've put up with a plastic banquet table desk, no direct deposit, clocking in/out, shoddy record keeping, skimpy PTO, a long ass commute, sub-par facilities, to name a few - all for longevity and to avoid putting myself out there again.

So, needless to say, when they reduced my hours to practically NIL last month, since their continued cash flow issue, not to mention the unresolved 'borrowing' of my 401k contributions, I was beyond pissed, not to mention panicked. Why, GOD, why? Although, obviously, I was going to start looking for another job anyway (see above complaints), dealing with another job search right now is beyond stressful. UGH ... money, mortgage, bills, food, summer, kids, new car payment... neverending worries.

On the other hand, it's a blessing to be able to spend the extra time with the kids during the summer, no more commute, more exercise and fresh air, time to clean my cottage and get other neglected tasks done. I'm taking good care of myself and the kids, getting solid work done from home, aggressively seeking new employment and have had several interviews, with more to come this week and have had a little travel fun. The paychecks are now puny, unemployment insurance is slightly less, but I'm going to rely on savings and make it stretch. Being frugal and fiscally responsible is helpful as well. I'm getting really good at it.

I have some downtrodden moments, but I'm trying not to panic. I'm fairly certain I will have a new job by the time the school year begins, or shortly after. I just need to focus, stay the course, be professional, articulate and confident. I will be gainfully employed again soon. With full benefits, a 401k that actually increases, a short commute, ability to retrieve my kids after school without hassle and MAYBE even a desk made of real wood. I'll settle for particle board even. One can dream....